We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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