kristin has been a bad kristin
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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