i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
