You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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