he puts the penis in happiness.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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