I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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