Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
