Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
