i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
