She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize