That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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