just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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