she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
