ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
