I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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