Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
