Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
