Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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