You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
