cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
