So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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