Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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