24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
