Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
