Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
