Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
