Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
