I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
