his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
