Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
