you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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