Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
