just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
