WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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