he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
