Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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