as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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