i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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