apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
