just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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