so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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