It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
