Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
