No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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