i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize