they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
