So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm having to shit out rocks
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