last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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