Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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