You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Randomize
