so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
