Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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