i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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