I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
COCAINE IS GR8
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
