I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
