yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
