I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
