I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
