just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
