You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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