It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize